Across the diocese, there are some incredible examples of church communities offering companionship, support and care to people with dementia, with many churches teaming up with Christian organisations like Caraway and Anna Chaplaincy.
A recent example of this ministry is at All Saints Church, North Baddesley, who have been working with the Memory Box Foundation to support those living with dementia in the area, as well as others suffering from mental health and those affected by loneliness and isolation.
Twice a month, representatives from the Memory Box Foundation will bring along a different box of memorabilia for people to look through, over a cup of tea and cake. The contents of the boxes are then spread on two large tables, which are likely to spark off interesting conversations, usually starting with “I remember…” Items have included things related to transportation, kitchens, gardening and the Royal Family. The latter was of particular interest prior to the Coronation of King Charles III.
A representative from Romdag (Romsey Dementia Action Group) also attends these mornings. Romdag aims to increase awareness of dementia and help to improve the lives of those living with dementia locally. This includes things like memory walks, music to unlock memories, and sensory experiences.
Another wonderful example of offering spiritual care to people with dementia is at the Parish of the Resurrection, Alton, who are busy planning their ‘Forget-Me-Not’ Dementia-Friendly service. This annual service happens every August and is organised in collaboration with the charity Dementia-Friendly Alton, who host a fundraiser in the church hall afterwards.
The service is hugely popular in the community, with many volunteers bringing people who have dementia, as well a large group coming from the local care home and also representatives from the church’s Hard of Hearing club. It is deliberately kept very short to only 30 mins, and the elements of the service are planned very carefully to be enjoyable and pertinent for people suffering with dementia.
“We make sure the hymns are the traditional old favourites and we include the traditional Lord’s Prayer. People with dementia often still have good long term memory which can be sparked by the traditional language,” explained the Revd Wendy Burnhams who leads the service.
“The Bible reading I used last year is from Isaiah which is about the theme of memory and forgetting. It includes the words spoken by God ‘I will never forget you’, and I used this to speak directly to the carers and volunteers who often feel lonely and forgotten in the hard task of caring for people with dementia, to remind them that God is still there and cares deeply.”
Another element of the service is that people are asked to write the names of people they know who have died of or with dementia as they come in on a large decorated sheet of paper, and these are then red out during a time of quiet reflection as an act of remembrance.
The poem used in the service also powerfully speaks of the experience of the elderly and those with cognitive difficulties:
Blessed are they who understand My faltering step and shaking hand Blessed, who know my ears today Must strain to hear the things they say. Blessed are those who seem to know My eyes are dim and my mind is slow Blessed are those who look away When I spilled tea that weary day. Blessed are they who, with cheery smile Stopped to chat for a little while Blessed are they who know the way To bring back memories of yesterday. Blessed are those who never say "You've told that story twice today" Blessed are they who make it known That I am loved, respected and not alone. And blessed are they who will ease the days Of my journey home, in loving ways. - Esther Mary Walker
Attendees last year were given keepsakes to take home, depicted below, which were made from old bibles.
“It’s wonderful to be part of the service. It’s nice and short, and everyone there is in the same boat – so there is no awkwardness or embarrassment if people get up and start walking around, nothing matters.
And the people themselves love it as it brings back memories of all the positive experiences they’ve had in church throughout their life, like weddings and christenings, and this really builds their confidence and sense of self.”
Karen Murrell – Dementia-Friendly Alton Coordinator
Download the Order of Service here.
