This month the Diocese of Winchester holds a course to support the older generations within our church communities, entitled Positive Ageing: Supporting Ministry to Older People. The event will look at the spiritual needs of older people who make up the majority of many congregations, how to support them and help them find joy and hope.
Across our diocese there are many examples of wonderful ministry to the older generation and here are examples of just a few:
Tuesdays Place, St Mary’s Kings Worthy
Tuesdays Place is a gathering of older people in Kings Worthy, part of the outreach of St Mary’s Church in the community. It’s been taking place for more than 10 years and for organisers, volunteers and those who attend, Tuesdays Place is a family.
Tuesdays Place provides entertainment, support, friendship and comfort to older people, some of whom are lonely, bereaved and sometimes unwell. Each month there is a speaker or activity such as a singing, quiz, bingo, armchair exercises, as well as visits by local music or theatre groups. There’s food and a time to chat.
Helen Bradish is one of the organisers and said, “Our aim is to have fun and to encourage people. Our speakers and events are the vehicle for drawing people in from the community and our goal is to for everyone to enjoy themselves but also to combat loneliness and isolation.”
She continued, “People who have been recently bereaved come along or it might be that their family has moved away and they’re looking for different anchor points through the week. Others have just moved into a residential setting but they’re still able to come and have fun. We’re mindful that we hold the fragility of what’s going on in people’s lives in this space. They’re a fabulous crowd and they encourage each other, and I always go home feeling uplifted and encouraged by how the afternoon has gone.”
Pam Hounsome came to Tuesdays Place after losing her husband. She said, “Tuesdays Place was my life saver. Revd Paul (Bradish) came round after the funeral and gave me information about Tuesdays Place and encouraged me to go along. The first time I went, Helen was outside to greet me. It was the first thing that I had been able to do without my husband and it was beautiful. It made a lot of difference to me and then gradually I also went to church. I’d said to Revd Paul that I had no friends and one day he said to me ‘you’ve got heaps of friends now’”.
Vivien Cunnington first went to Tuesdays Place last September two months after her husband died. “There’s an interesting programme of speakers, lovely food and a cup of tea. I’ve met lots of lovely people, we also meet at church and go out for coffee so it’s a friendship hub which is especially good for people who are bereaved or on their own. I am a Christian, but we hadn’t gone to church regularly but now I come to the Sunday afternoon service at the Chapel.”
Vicki Pawsey came to Tuesdays Place after moving to Headbourne Worthy House retirement complex three years ago from Wales. “I wanted to meet people, so I joined Tuesdays Place. It gives structure to my week as I know I’m doing something on a Tuesday afternoon on a regular basis. There’s such a good team of volunteers and they’re all very welcoming and generous. I’m very grateful for all the good things the church is doing.”
Tuesdays Place enjoy a summer outing which this year is to Milestones Museum in Basingstoke. When people are no longer able to attend the group, the team carry out home visits with the aim being to bring happiness and a feeling of wellbeing.
Helen added, “I think at the core of our values is to appreciate everybody no matter what their background, their age or their ability. Some come by taxi, some come with a carer, some have the beginnings of dementia and this is a safe place for everyone to come and relax. We share a light touch ‘thought for the day’ which is always a bible verse that they take home every month and sometimes we might say a prayer if there’s been a bereavement within our Tuesday’s Place family. We hold the sadness with the happiness and the joy all at the same time and that to me is totally worth it.”
Tuesdays Place meets at a church hall in the village and a Sunday afternoon communion service is held in the same building once a month and members of Tuesdays Place often go along.
“We find that quite a lot of people at this stage of life want to re-engage with spiritual things,” Helen continued. “It can often be people with no church connection, and it is important for them to have that opportunity. The 3 o’clock service is becoming more and more popular with people from Tuesday’s Place because it has that overlap with the leaders and the space where they feel safe.”
Avon Valley Churches
Avon Valley Churches has two Anna Chaplains and a team of pastoral visitors who care and support older people in their community.
As part of this work, Anna Chaplains Mary Melbourne and Julie Francis regularly visit three local care homes and, with a team of volunteers, hold a service with hymns, prayers and a short reflection. They use visual aids including pictures, costumes, and drama and sing hymns such as “Tell me the stories of Jesus” to evoke thoughts and memories from the past. They have seen the services grow since they started after Covid lockdown.
One resident Nancy said, “We sing hymns and that’s what I like doing. I went to St Mary’s in Fordingbridge, but I can’t get to church now and so it’s lovely that they come to me.”
Mary said, “I think it’s important to show people, particularly those who have been at church and can’t get there anymore, that we’re still there and we still care, and they’re still part of the church. For those who haven’t been to church, they see us coming in and they join in. I think particularly with this age, Christianity is something they’ve been probably been brought up with, even if they haven’t followed it all their lives. I think our service sometimes brings back memories and I hope it can help them be a bit more positive. It must be devastating to lose your independence, even though you know you can’t manage alone anymore. They’ve lost so much, and this is one thing perhaps we can still give them.”
Julie added, “We can look at Bible readings, Bible study, we can do all sorts of things, we just do it in a different setting, and in a different way. For example, we will use visual aids and interpretations of the Bible that older people can understand. I think it’s our duty as Christians to look after our parishioners and people that have reached a certain age or immobility and to care for them spiritually. We want to bring people joy through Christ, to show they are loved by us and by God”
The Anna Chaplains work alongside pastoral care teams who visit people’s homes, organise hospital visits and communion services in the care and retirement homes. The work of the church is also supported by local charity, Avon Valley Community Matters which funds events within the community. The church runs a Friendship Group which meets twice a month in a Fordingbridge pub and has around 40 members.
In June, the Anna Chaplains are planning a midweek communion service, with tea and cake at St Mary’s Church for people who are lonely, from residential homes, those who are housebound and their carers.
Julie said, “There is so much more to people of the fourth generation than I thought I knew. When you get to a certain age, your children are grown up, your relatives may not be around anymore, and there is an awful lot of loneliness. We feel that this ministry is important because we don’t want people to be forgotten just because they are immobile or housebound. They are entitled to receive the word of God, to receive the sacraments as much as anyone else. So, if they can’t get to church, then we’ll take the church to them. It’s important that they shouldn’t be forgotten, that God’s grace extends to everyone, young and old.”
Mary added, “I like to see the reception that we get in the care homes and the fact that you can see it’s so worthwhile. I think within the church, particularly in rural areas like here, the elderly can sometimes get forgotten. The emphasis is obviously on getting young people into church and that’s quite right, but it can sometimes feel it’s at the expense of the elderly. I think they deserve to be remembered at the end of their lives.”
Mary and Julie attend different churches within Avon Valley Churches and were commissioned as Anna Chaplains last year. They hope to add to their number from other churches within the four parishes to grow God’s work.
Holy Saviour Church, Bitterne
Omega Wednesdays at Holy Saviour in Bitterne offer people a chance to meet, share food and enjoy a variety of activities. The day starts at 10am with tea and cake. At 11am there is a Holy Communion service and lunch follows at 12. Activities also include armchair exercises and on the second Wednesday of the month there is ‘Singing for Fun’.
The recent extension to the church, with a new kitchen and hall, has enabled it to expand outreach into the community.
Worship leader Nicky Ballingall said, “It’s just a lovely place for people to come and feel welcome and to enjoy themselves. I think it’s our way of showing God’s love and God’s care to the community. People feel that they can chat to us, they talk about their problems, the sad things that are happening in their lives, but the happy things as well. It’s a safe place for people to come, to be warm and welcome. We’d like more people in the community to be able to join us and to see how much God loves them. We feel God working here and it’s great.”
Rhoda Field is a carer who comes with David who has dementia. She commented, “It’s lovely to come here for 3 or 4 hours a week and to get to know other people. As a carer, you often work alone so I’ve made relationships here and it’s a special place. David is here with his friends and church family and he’s got this framework around him to help him cope. It’s a real community and we help each other out. I’m a Christian but can’t get to church often so it’s lovely to do communion together at 11. Singing for Fun also makes a difference. It triggers memories for David from long ago and he’s so content when he’s singing.”
John and Lan Holmes have been attending Omega Wednesdays for around two years and enjoy the armchair exercises. They said, “We come for the exercises, but we get much more out of it, with the friendship we get here too. With all the stresses in life, coming here is like an oasis and you just relax. The people are so fantastic.”
More to Give, St Peter’s Church Yateley
More to Give was established at St Peter’s Church in Yateley two years ago by three members of the church who felt that older members of the congregation have a distinct ministry which needed to be acknowledged and gifts that needed to be shared.
They started an informal café style worship service which takes place on the last Saturday of the month and welcomes those who attend Sunday services and those who don’t.
Sue Anderson was one of those who first set up More to Give and explained, “We felt there were people who still had gifts they could use, but didn’t always get the chance in church. Through More to Give, people know that they still have a valued place in the life of the church and that they have a voice. They are able to enjoy a relaxed, informal atmosphere where they can get to know each other better and to which they can bring non-church going friends.”
The service includes songs and a time of ‘post-it prayers’ with post it notes on the tables encouraging people to share their prayer requests. There is a speaker from within the church who gives a short bible-based talk followed by a time of round table discussion with tea and cake.
The meetings provide an opportunity for people to share their wisdom and experience.
Organiser Vera Grey added, “We encourage them to perhaps try something new if they are no longer able to minister in the way they used to, and the intimate nature of our gatherings has enabled some to speak publicly about their faith which they would not otherwise have done.”
More to Give recently held a Songs of Praise asking people to choose their favourite hymn and many present shared the testimonies too. The Saturday service has been growing in number since it started, with around 35-40 people now attending each month.
St Mary’s, Basingstoke
Around 80 people regularly attend a lunch club at St Mary’s in Basingstoke. It was first set up nearly 30 years ago and has grown over that time. People attend from the local community, a nearby retirement complex, and it’s also an opportunity for people from the church to invite friends along to share a meal, find friendship and experience the love of Christ.
Gill Day goes to St Mary’s and invited friend Mike along to the lunch club after he lost his wife. She said, “For a lot of the folk here, like Mike, it’s the only thing he comes out for, apart from a bit of shopping, so it does make a difference. We want them to have a good time and get to know people, but those of us who are Christians from the church and on the team, we also want to share the gospel with them.”
Andrea Goodall joined the church 18 months ago after moving into a nearby retirement complex. She regularly invites other residents to come and join her. “Each time I come, I bring a new person! I think it’s good for people who don’t come to St Mary’s, to visit the church and hear the talk. There’s a couple of us at The Lodge praying regularly for people to come to church and come to know Jesus.”
The lunch club meets on alternate Wednesdays for a home cooked two course meal, followed by tea and coffee. There is a bible verse and talk each week. There are also quizzes, singing and other entertainment throughout the year and a three-day holiday club called “Holiday @ St Mary’s” in July which includes crafts, games, talks and food.
88-year-old Sylvie Bright has been coming to the lunch for around 10 years after being invited by a friend. “It’s good company and a lovely meal. I don’t go to church, but I like to hear the talks and learn more.”
Sue Taylor added, “I met a friend at the bus stop one day. I hadn’t really been going out and she invited me along and here I am 18 months later. I’m seeing people and meeting people and it’s important to talk. My son knows when I have been here because he says I look happy.”
The lunch club is run by a team of around 10 volunteers and takes many hours of work – planning the menu, ordering food, peeling and preparing food and cooking. The tables are beautifully set with napkins, flowers and menus. Other volunteers welcome the guests and sit and chat at the tables during the meal
Peter Shelton has been a volunteer for around 20 years and said, “It’s good to be able to serve other people of a similar age and chat and get to know people. It’s the church reaching out to local people with a message of hope and it does make a difference. There’s so much loneliness out there and it’s a wonderful opportunity to bring people together.”
Sue Redbond started up the club in the mid-1990s. “It’s somewhere that people can come, to make friends, have a good meal, but of course, as a church, we also like to tell them about Jesus. It can be tougher when people are older as they don’t always like change, but we know that Jesus can change lives, and we have seen examples of that.”
Pastoral Co-ordinator Janet Waldock oversees catering. The volunteers meet in the morning to pray for the day ahead and the guests that they have got to know over the years.
She said, “We have our talk and share the gospel with them every time so they’re gaining a biblical perspective on life. We know that God is calling people into his kingdom, and we want to give them that opportunity. We want them to know the daily joy of not being alone, because Christ is with you. Old age can be hard, but if you know the Lord Jesus then you are not alone. The ones who know Jesus, seem vibrant, because they’re almost breathing the new life that will one day be theirs, and we want to encourage that for everyone.”
Positive Ageing – Supporting Ministry to Older People takes place at Old Alresford Place on 29/3/25 at 10am. The interactive day will be led by the Revd Erica Roberts, chaplain for older people in Southampton deanery, Revd David Hendra, dementia chaplain, and the Caraway team. Please contact Wendy Atkinson at wendy.atkinson@winchester.anglican.org to book your place.
